I have to say that i really have left out my blog for a long long time,
and this time coming back here just to write down something
which bother me for quite a while.
there is something keep spinning in my thoughts on what is going on lately..
with a difficult and hard to explain feeling
failed to handle it and express it
keeping to myself is not a solution
but even thou i say it all out
will that solve my problem
will that change me back to my own self
??
asking myself
do i deserve this
especially how you treat me
am i deserve to be treated nice
even when the relationship is complicated
well maybe its complicated for me not you
but how am i gonna handle it
what is your real purpose
or should i ask myself what am i thinking
am i thinking too much about this
will i found a solution to this
??
twisted mind of mine had become
doesn't feels like its me anymore
who am i
which is the real me
who are you
why are you taking over me
making me feel so confuse
for the time I'm like this
after few minutes
it change to that
what had i become
why is this happening to me
...
reality and fantasy
true and false
real and fake
which is the one
i can't even get an answer
sometimes just hope that
i can stay in my dream
be the one without any worries
living happily and free
do whatever i want
get whatever i want
but in the end
when i woke up
I'm back to reality
how i wish its the same
reality and my dream
but its impossible
...
hopefully this will end and i can have the life i want to
living without problems and worries
its just a simple life
why can't i have it ??
